OK, that’s one way to start the day. I just had an encounter with an irate homeless man who chose my office property to come unglued. From my 2nd floor window I witnessed him come down street, tear up flower beds all awhile yelling “fuck this, fuck that”. Figuring he was just having a bad day I was prepared to let him go his way when he suddenly changed direction and angled in towards the building, making his way around back. Concerned he might turn his aggression on vehicles or heaven forbid, unsuspecting tenants, I made my way down to give he a good “get the fuck out of here” talking to only to find him pant-less, washing his underwear in a spigot.
I was in the process of leaving a message with the landlord regarding the damage when homeboy suddenly spotted me and seeming to take issue with my presence started across the parking lot at an aggressive walk, pausing only to pull a steel locking rod out of a fence gate. He continued his approach yelling threateningly in my direction. One fractional second of fight or flight debate resolved with the realization that he needed to be dealt with immediately. Recognizing he was soon to be within striking distance I grabbed a fortuitously discarded 2×4 lying on the ground beside me.
Summoning my best Drill Instructor voice I told him that in no uncertain terms did he want to continue his approach and that he should drop his weapon and leave the area now. This seemed to momentarily incite him and he increased his already frantic pace to a brief charge towards me. He got within about 10 feet when sudden situational awareness or plain common sense seemed to take hold. He promptly dropped the rod and began waving me off. I turned to flank him and followed him off the property telling him repeatedly to keep moving over a litany of profanity laden protests against a myriad of invisible antagonists who had done him wrong. He spit and spat, accused me of stealing his bike, evicting him from his house, kissing his sister, colluding with Russia, you name it.
Although any immediate threat had been eliminated, I called Tampa Police Department figuring a heads up of an irate and aggressive individual causing property damage would be of some interest to them only to be rebuffed and told that “unless he returns, they aren’t interested”. I guess social distancing applies to law enforcement not too keen on having to potentially come in contact with feral individuals. The purpose of this tale is to remind everyone to keep your eyes open and stay safe out there. It’s chaos from within!
Mannino Acid 