Breeders Started the Fire

(In the style of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”)

Harry Potter nursery, maybe stick with Hermione
Something classic, baseball or maybe Mother Goose
Noah’s Ark, Paw Patrol, Peppa Pig, Where’s Waldo
Muppet Babies, Disney Ladies, or even Dr Seuss

For a boy how bout Kyle, Oliver is still in style
Brandon, Declan Eli, Liam, Alexander, Levi
If it’s a girl I like Nadine, Abigail or Adeline
Madeline, Genevieve, Scarlett or Naomi

Breeders started the fire
Thanks to gender yearning
All of Cali’s burning
Breeders started the fire
Over pink and blue
The inferno grew

Joe was staling, set it off, Smoke so thick it make you cough
Mushroom cloud, sonic boom, quick incineration
Roy cried, John was gone, party’s over, let’s move on
Flee the scene in your SUV, avoid the conflagration

Gender reveal at all cost, forest fires holocaust
Acres burned by your hand, take the family to Disneyland
Narcissism on display, self-indulgent hypocrisy
Fight the flames, drain the lakes, shovel in the sewage

Breeders started the fire
Despite years of learning
Now their homes are burning
Breeders started the fire
Whether boy or girl
Now the smoke’s aswirl

Fire claiming peoples homes Canyon Claveras, and Deer Zones
Contra Costa, San Joaquin, and the cities in between
Alameda, Santa Clara California’s burning
Stark weather fans the flame, unborn children get the blame

Bloody folly at it’s worst, face the facts, now you’re cursed
Just to get a little praise, you had to set the world ablaze
You two are quite sickening, the fires ever quickening
Self-centered and psycho, boy or girl you had to know

Breeders started the fire
While the winds were turning
Gender bombs were burning
Breeders started the fire
Thanks to her and him
Skies glow red and grim

Highway signs melting, danger in the north land
Sci-fi hell scape like a Blade Runner remake
Fire fighting all day long, yet the infernos going strong
Hot mess in excess, wildlife in distress

Homes lost, yours is next, property loss in excess
Climate change on display, what else do I have to say?

Breeders started the fire
Thanks to global warming
No storms are forming
Breeders started the fire
No you didn’t buy it
But you can’t deny it

Birth ritual, overdid, know the gender of your kid
Moronic parenting that junior is inheriting
Bacon frying on a rock, in the name of mindless schlock 
I tell you all this is lame, now you have yourselves to blame

Waste a fortune, silly pride, global climate suicide
Growing debts, jobless vets, race hate, Covid tests
Hypocrites across the board, beat the plowshares into swords
I don’t think I can endure, this raging fire anymore!

Breeders started the fire
It’ll still be burning
Until we start spurning
Breeders started the fire
Once the fire’s gone
Can we please move on and on and on…