In our never-ending quest for growth, we often overlook the relative peace found by achieving a state of equilibrium. We claw and scratch our way up until we reach such lofty heights that the only place to go is down. We inevitably crash deep in a well of heartache, left to wonder how we will ever get back out again. The truth is our goal should be zero. Zero is stable. Zero is content. Zero is infinite and indivisible. No place is this more prevalent than in the turbulence of a long-distance relationship. Join me on this journey along the many rises and falls of love, back when I chased that elusive zero.
Part 1: Minus
I started out as a nothing
With nothing left there by my side
Resigned to matter for nothing
I had to surrender my pride
Then out of the ether there came
A beacon sent from miles away
Responding to signals that came
From some decommissioned array
The antenna that transmitted
This canceled broadcast long ago
Received what was retransmitted
Giving something from which to grow
The message was easily found
For answers to so many things
Many queries that can’t be found
To whatever the fates may bring
So I tossed a question out there
With zero faith, you’d answer back
And found a solution right there
Preconceptions under attack
Despite desperation, you saw
My lost soul so riddled with grief
And rather ignore what you saw
You surrendered to the belief
Of fairy tales made manifest
Magic spells now cast over doubt
Before feelings could manifest
A reckoning must come about
See, I never could imagine
Rising up from these ashes spent
By dreaming to reimagine
That I could ever be content
With truly nothing left to lose
And little time left on the clock
I took a shot rather than lose
Just to see what chance could unlock
So I hopped on a flight due west
Packed a bag full of hopes and dreams
Arriving in that land out west
To see if it’s good as it seems
We instantly reconnected
As if time had ceased to exist
While our hearts became connected
My will could no longer resist
For a precious few days I let
Possibility take control
Happy to find any outlet
Open to receiving my soul
The time had come to head back home
This first chapter now concluded
My heart had found a brand new home
Where my dreams had once eluded
Body and spirit now lifted
Above the cool, clear western coast
Your kindness that gently lifted
I feared that I would miss the most
And though miles remained between us
For this, I instinctively knew
That nothing on earth could stop us
As long-distance love only grew
Part 2: Plus
I’m looking forward to missing you
Not because I didn’t want you around
See, I’d much rather be kissing you
But this sense of longing is profound
Anticipation grew from absence
Where persistent contact had deceived
I learned to tolerate your absence
Our destinies became interweaved
As miles and months accumulated
Between every midway rendezvous
Complex love had accumulated
The chrysalis of our future grew
Eventually, we would need to
Free emotions in constant delay
The strains on our love had hitherto
Been bearable while each were away
So I proposed a crazy notion
To give this full time romance a try
No longer supporting the notion
Of facing one more somber goodbye
So you packed some things and came back east
To the land where this story began
For a month of living here back east
We’d solidify our future plan
The road to this foregone conclusion
Was still far from being paved in gold
While we strove towards the conclusion
We hoped that fate would favor the bold
You see, life is not a vacation
Though our sense of adventure had grown
Living no longer on vacation
We’d harvest seeds of love we had sown
With purpose and patience, we’d prevail
We really had nothing to lose
The mutual love that would prevail
Made the difficult easy to chose
Committed to this chapter anew
You made the brave and bold decision
Leaving the west world for something new
To build the life, you had envisioned
Part 3: Zer0
Just two-thousand four hundred miles to go
Before the start of the rest of your life
For all the peace you would have to forgo
You were willing to endure so much strife
For every best-laid plan of mice and men
Is woefully destined to go awry
All the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men
Seemed to offer little help in reply
For these thirty-nine years in the making
You dreamed of finding a partner in crime
Never knowing the cost of remaking
Your dreams to fit the challenge of the time
So you joined our family mid broadcast
Without any signal interruption
Into our regular scheduled broadcast
Somehow canceling out the disruption
You bore the weight of the chaos at large
Adding so much to our growing story
All of your nuances, both small and large
You fulfilled this family’s glory
When the going got tough, you stood steadfast
Taking on so much of the day-to-day
Our dependency on you grew so fast
Blending into a dizzying array
It seems your heart had so much love to give
Bursting at virtually every seam
I tried to give you all that I could give
While you selflessly fulfilled every dream
Years have passed and those miles now, forgotten
All that time, I had previously lost
Had been erased and so soon forgotten
Though I paid the price, I didn’t count the cost
With my love life’s accounting now complete
The tally of each loss and every gain
Weighed and considered yet still incomplete
I have factored the cost of all this pain
That while we seek out some exalted sum
Any number even greater than one
True happiness still resides in the sum
Chase zero, indivisible by none
Mannino Acid 